Weaponizing Niceness

Detroit: 

Dr. Francesca Gino is an admirable scholar and writer. Her work on innovation and the psychology of organizations at Harvard Business School is world class. She can be conveniently misinterpreted, however, by leaders, consultants and reporters who take some of her thinking too loosely.

I enjoyed her 2018 book, Rebel Talent: Why it Pays to Break the Rules at Work and in Life. The problem is that, despite the obvious need for guardrails offered by Gino and anyone else with common sense, one could read - or more likely, not read - a book like this and view it as license to say and do reckless things in the name of innovation and disruption.

Rebellion against foolish, counterproductive or unjust policies, practices, laws and norms is essential and healthy, but only if you choose the right targets and moments and acquit yourself well. Otherwise, amateur, self-styled rule-breakers without discernment can cost us time and money and injure moral, reputation and performance. Plus, they make it harder for real rebels to fight for innovation and resist actual foolishness and injustices down the road.

Gino considers the word “nice” in some of her work, as well. She describes in the current Delta in-flight magazine “awkwardness aversion,” for example, in which people in leadership positions choose not to have tough-minded performance conversations with employees for fear of hurting their feelings. She’s right. This happens all time and it’s epidemic.

She or the reporters covering her work suggest, however, that this is due to people being nice. Sure, that’s sometimes part of the problem. In many cases, however, my experience suggests that it’s actually due to people avoiding conflict whether they are nice, neutral or nasty. Ill-tempered people avoid conflict and fail to address real, underlying issues, too, though their interpersonal dynamics can certainly create plenty of superficial conflict. The underlying problem is more likely a lack of courage or commitment to the cause, not necessarily niceness. It may also be a lack of training.

As with Gino’s “rebels,” an  overriding concern is that a superficial understanding of her work can empower pseudo-tough-guys to belittle niceness, to think of it as weakness and behave accordingly. Quite the contrary, real leaders know how to be tough, firm and decisive while also being authentic professionals and decent human beings.

So, if you’ve been avoiding a difficult but necessary conversation with an employee for so long that you are jeopardizing his or her viability and that of your organization, then guess what? You’re not being very nice. 
Image courtesy of Titanium Success.