Daniel Goleman told us that when he first wrote about emotional intelligence (EQ) in the 1990s, he was warned not to use the word “emotion.” It was felt that there was no place for talk of emotions in business and professional life.
Of course, that sentiment was utterly ridiculous. There is now and have always been few things more central to success at work than managing our emotions and understanding the emotions of others.
This reminds me of the time I was told that my Fortune 100 CEO boss didn’t like people using the word “intuition,” which he undoubtedly deemed too feminine. He certainly had no use for concepts of emotional intelligence either and, as a result, was a terrible practitioner of it. Of course, that CEO had no problem with the term “gut instinct," which means about the same thing as "intuition" but with a more macho ring to it. To some men in leadership positions, all of this reeks of softness. That's too bad, since emotional intelligence is among the hardest, toughest skills of all.
Goleman recently addressed Harvard Kennedy School’s Behavioral Sciences Series. He reminded us that IQ and EQ represent distinct domains of expertise and are developed quite differently. The former originates in the brain’s executive function or prefrontal cortex while the latter is a product of the brain’s limbic system, particularly the amygdala.
Both forms of intelligence are essential, but while IQ “helps you get in the game,” EQ dictates “whether or not you emerge as a leader.” IQ can get you hired, in other words, but EQ can get you fired. As Goleman said, “People management is all EQ.”
Goleman underscored the central role of “cognitive control” in the exercise of emotional intelligence. The practice of cognitive control can, of necessity, lengthen “the gap between initial impulse and the moment you act.” Understanding and extending this gap between blurting out what you think, exhibiting body language that says the same thing, or acting poorly before thinking something through is how the neurologist and psychologist Victor Frankl is said to have defined maturity. Indeed, impulse control is a high sign of maturity and wisdom and the lack of it is why some people in leadership positions fail.
Can EQ and impulse control be developed? Goleman says yes. More on how to do so in Part 2.